Category: Manliness

  • The explorer, Katherine Rundell

    “What if I crash?” said Fred. “You will have to refrain from doing so.” “You have not, I noticed, said you won’t. You have only said that you can’t.   I say you can.” “I’m scared, alright?” said Fred.  “Then you will make the decision to steer towards fear.  I think you can.  I think you…

  • Marriage mindsets

    The 5 Rs – Resolute, Rational (esp men), Romantic (esp women but high divorce rate), Restless, Reluctant. Pretty evenly distributed otherwise! Get yourself psychologically healthy before looking to a relationship to fill a hole. Be self aware. Have your own goals and standards, rather than seeking approval from others. Be kind, able to give of…

  • Culture of fear

    Frank Furedi has written a couple of books about this (also about “paranoid parenting”). Historically, fear of God was seen as crucial for a moral life, so a positive thing.  Fear then becomes understood as pathological eg social phobia.  Unpleasant experiences in childhood become institutional problems to be fixed not life challenges to develop skills…

  • Pride

    Authentic vs hubristic. Other languages have different words. No specific facial features, all about the body language!  Same in both kinds of pride! Some societies favour but most sanction. Authentic comes from sense of achievement. See gold medal winners. Hubristic comes from feeling superior to others – esp where pride display takes no account of…

  • Aggression

    Desperate vs Expert! Running out of options as trigger for desperate. Keep them talking as adrenaline rush doesn’t last long. Avoid shaming. Establish commonalities- ask questions that show interest. Expert as predatory – no signals, just gentle testing of boundaries eg inappropriate physical behaviour, comments, emotional engagement esp shame, guilt to get you in increasingly…

  • Mating intelligence

    Creativity is a trait that women find attractive in a mate, and mating motives  enhance actual creative ability in men.  For men, artistic accomplishment for visual art is related to sexual success.  These tendencies clearly have an evolutionary basis, and the fact that prestige in the arts is not the only factor suggests that the genetic advantage rather…